Chibi Ryo

Me and Fandom

I'm Cyberdudey but my friends call me Angel.

I am 50% Arashian

and 50% Eighter

which makes me a HARDCORE JE fangurl \m/

WARNING: Some of my post here are mostly JE fangurling and personal
rumblings. If symptoms of too much personal rumblings exist... :D


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PS: gifs not mine :) (c) from tumblr


I was looking back at some mutual messages and stumble upon a convo with a mutual who had an argument with a co-fan. They had a little misunderstanding. My mutual was making a fun compliment and her mutual got a bit defensive with their bias. Back then when we were talking about it and found out that her mutul was my mutual too... I kind of had an idea what both my mutuals were talking. One had a traumatic experience with being ganged up while the other one got misunderstood. I realized fandom convo should just be fandom focused... If opening up is done both should agree to just be cool with it. Yeahhh be cool...


Ffff up and stand up (hoping for a stand up)

I hosted another school event and this time I ff up... It was embarassing though they kept telling me its ok. I know it was embededbon my genes that I do not want to make mistakes. I forgot to have our finance manager do her closing remarks and ended the program that fast... Gawd... I dont know how to make amends with it but good thing I stumble upon Jun Matsumoto's interview about how to redeem yourself from being ff up...
He mentioned that one should not dwell in the past but make ways how to avoid it. That will be my new ff up perspective... Learn, stand, and move on... Hopefull I can keep it up ❤


Life updates and Elona Holmes

Aside from a weak internet connection and a frustrating fan life, I manage to enjoy watching some hardcore, blood-spewing, chilling, and the suspense-fun-filled movie on Netflix. It was cool! I love that screaming intense thriller feeling though after watching the film, I realized how it was just full of that but still good movies!

Then after watching #Alive which was the final movie on my list, I checked up on my friends and fandom friends on IG and happen to saw one of my friend's IG stories and featured Elona Holmes. She even added as a remark that it was a good movie. I have seen the trailer and thought that it was just for teens but since this friend of mine, who I happen to know personally and had a good eye for good films, made me tickle my curiosity and watched it.

To be honest, before I watch the film I already had my bias perspective towards the Sherlock Holmes series and the movie. Of all actors, I would always go and choose Rober Downey Jr. He will always be my image of Sherlock Holmes though Benedict Cumberbatch and Henry Cavill (in Elona Holmes) were cool too, sorry guys but Robert has stolen my heart for Sherlock Holmes, and Iron man HAHA!

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I got too comfortable 🥺

Adjusting is hard. I was suppose to add the term "really" as my adjective but yeah... It is hard.

The Nomad fandom got almost zero to none content from the Nomad CEO because we all know he's really busy preparing for the live event on October and his new album. Just imagine he just created songs for the N/A album then he has own release. 🥺



What I've leraned so far from 3 decades

To be honest I have not hit my 'bucket lists' or the list of things I should have done before I reached 30. Back then I was even imagining I have owned a car hahaha! And back then  I never imagined I would be a teacher... I realized I had plans, but those plans were not as I have expected will turn out to be.

First was I never thought I would never mature. Yeah, you read it right, I didn't grow older. Though I had acquired a handful of work experience, worked with best people in the semi-conductor and the academe, I never learned from them. Why? because I would always see their flaws. They were great, to be honest, but they lack human contact. I knew I can acquire their skills but I shall not want to acquire that "only work is life" lifestyle. It's not fun, plus I might grow old like them.

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A while back I was able to apply the principle of the film The Devil Wears Parada.

"Honey its her job, you don't need to praise you and give you a pat on the back for a job well done." -I know its not the exact qoute but seriously this gave me a peace of mind

A while back we got a meeting with our team members from another corp. We were ask to introduce ourselves and it seems that whenever one introduces themselves the big boss would say something to our team members. When it was my turn, unlike what my predecessors have done, I did not say thank you. Why you ask? Gawd ehy would I? I don't feel like saying it and it was their decision to hire me. Not sure if it was the reason but big boss did not talk to me. She kept a silent screen and proceeded to the next team member.

I don't feel but hurt here but yeah I realized that I should treat my work and private life separately... I don't wipe other people's asses for saying "I am indebt you guys hired me".. Sorry I'm not like that.

I apologize for my rudeness but we are into different perceptions. Its not me.

Also I realized that I will move to another work were I don't baby sit assholes. I wanted a work where even if pay is cheap... Less stress... Less shit.


Avalanche... not what you were thinking right now.

Disclaimer: I shall not in any way, react, describe, or say anything about the Avalanche book. The title has been used to express my emotions towards the numerous content produced by Ryo last Friday which were limited to his recent  Fan meeting, Maybelline CMs, NGTV releases, a video collab with Liftる and the N/A X Aviot.

This didn't happen last Friday though, but I am so happy the fan meeting event was a success. The organizers, through Nomad staff IG account, has been keen and strict towards the required guidelines in handling the event. Even Ryo was careful too. From the entrance to the main venue, from disinfecting the seats to other stuff all mentioned in the attendees' tweets, it seems that everything went well. So proud of him! Again, all based on my biased opinion and the pictures and video posted in Nomad Staff IG account. Also, Ryo presented 2 new songs too: Kitchen and Silence.  PS: we wait for a new release! Better watch out for that!

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[LYRICS] Pretender - Official髭男dism with Romaji + Translation

Title: Pretender

Artist: Official 髭男dism (Official Higedandism)

Single: Pretender (Confidence Man JP Movie Theme Song)

Released Date: April 22, 2019

Pretender Single Art
Pretender Single Art



(You and me, our love story)


Sore wa yosou doori

(It's just as I imagined)


Iza hajimareba hitori-shibai da

(After the curtain rises, a one-man show starts)


Zutto soba ni itatte

(Though I'm always by your side)


Kekkyoku tada no kankyaku da

(after all, I'm nothing but the audience)


Kanjou no nai AIMU SOORII

(Said feelingless "I'm sorry")


Sore wa itsumo doori

(It's just on daily basis)


Narete shimaeba waruku wa nai kedo

(That's not too bad once you get used to it)


Kimi to no ROMANSU wa jinsei-gara

(But I knew my romance with you was unlike my self-)


Tsuzuki wa shinai koto wo shitta

(and I realized it would never last long)


Motto chigau settei de

(In a way different settings-)


Motto chigau kankei de

(In a way different relation-)

出会える世界線 選べたらよかった

Deaeru sekai sen erabetara yokatta

(A world line where we can meet-)


Motto chigau seikaku de

(In a way different personality-)


Motto chigau kachikan de

(In a way different values-)


Ai wo tsutaeraetara ii na

(I want to send my pure love only to you)


Sou negattemo muda dakara 

('Cause I know that wish would've been no use-)





Kimi no unmei no hito wa boku ja nai

(I am not the one, the love of your entire life)


Tsurai kedo inamenai

(It's hard to say, but I can't deny)


Demo hanaregatai no sa

(Still, I can't decide to leave)

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[LYRICS] 115万キロのフィルム - Official髭男dism with Romaji + Translation

Title: 115-man KIRO no FIRUMU/ 115 man Kilo no Film

Artist: Official 髭男dism (Official Higedandism)


Released Date: April 11, 2018

ESCAPARADE album art
ESCAPARADE album art


Korekara utau kyoku no naiyou wa boku no atama no naka no koto

(I’m going to sing about what’s in my head now)


Shuen wa mochiron kimi de

(The main character is obviously you)


boku wa joen de kantoku de KAMERAMAN

(I’m the supporting character, director and cameraman)

目の奥にあるフィルムで作る映画の話さ Ah

me no oku ni aru FIRUMU de tsukuru eiga no hanashi sa Ah

(It’s a movie I will make with the film deep in my eyes Ah)


kudaranai na to warattannara tsukami wa sore de banji OK!

(If you laugh at it because it seems silly, the everthing in the intro is OK!)


Akirete inaide chottomatte

(Don’t be bored, please wait a second)


kitto kiniitte moraeru to omou na

(I’m pretty sure you will like it)


koko made no DAIJESUTO o sukoshidake miseru yo

(I will show you a little bit of the digest up to now)


Hajimete kenkashita yoru no namida 

(The tears from the first fight we had that night)


kojinteki ni mune ga itamu keredo 

(It’s personally hurts my heart but)


sono mama mitsudzukeyou 

(Let’s continue watching just like this)


gomen ne to itte nakanaori shite te o nigitte…

(We said sorry, we talked things out, I held your hand tightly...)

ほら、ここで君が笑うシーンが見どころなんだからさ Ah

hora, koko de kimi ga warau SHIIN ga midokoro nan dakara sa Ah

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